


Parodies

by august_the_real



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 21:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3148412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/august_the_real/pseuds/august_the_real
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>O Hamlet! speak no more;<br/>Thou turn¹st mine eyes into my very soul;<br/>And there I see such black and grained spots<br/>As will not leave their tinct.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parodies

Parodies  
By august

 

Not *that* kind of Q/Janeway story . . . some talk, some angst, the  
usual drill. PG-13. If you¹re looking for sex and foreplay that lasts  
centuries, you are definitely in the wrong place.

~ ~ * ~ ~l

O Hamlet! speak no more;  
Thou turn¹st mine eyes into my very soul;  
And there I see such black and grained spots  
As will not leave their tinct.

Act III, Scene IV  
Hamlet

 

The doorbell chimed, and Janeway looked up. Strange. Too late for anyone  
in the Alpha shift to be awake, too early for anyone in the Gamma shift  
to have a problem.

³Come.² She looked back down at the padd before her.

³Captain.² He strode into the room, and she sighed -- the automatic  
reaction to his presence.

³Q.² Her tone was dry.

³You know Kathy,² Q began. ³One day I¹m going to bottle that expression  
you and Jean-Luc paint on your face every time I arrive. It¹s a  
delicious mixture of impatience, trepidation . . . and almost fear. I  
love it. It¹s so . . . human.²

³What do you want, Q?²

³And one day, you¹re going to be pleased to see me.² He stood up and  
gestured to the doors. ³I hope you noticed I came through the doors this  
time. You told me you didn¹t want any unexpected arrivals.²

³I meant on my ship.²

³Oh Kathy, such harsh words.² He clicked his fingers and re-appeared  
behind her, peering over her shoulder. ³Whatcha doing?²

³Work.² She turned to face him. ³That thing that we mere mortals have to  
do.²

³Hmph. Clearly you don¹t understand the sheer man-power it takes to run  
the cosmos.²

³Clearly.² She said, turning her back to him, and focused her attention  
once again on the padd.

³You know, Kathy.² Q said, clicking his fingers and smiling as her padd  
materilised in his hands, ³this whole superiority routine is getting  
awfully tiresome. When a Q decides to pay you attention, you don¹t turn  
your back on him.²

³I¹m sorry, Q.² She turned in her seat to face him, droning  
sarcastically. ³Oh immortal being, to what do I owe the pleasure of this  
visit?²

³I will ignore the obvious insincerity in your voice, Kathy, because it  
is your nature.² He clicked his fingers and reappeared, sitting on her  
desk, legs dangling beneath him. ³I¹m just here for your routine service  
\-- every 30 000 kilometers, you know.²

³What are you talking about?²

³Oh, it¹s an old Terran . . . Oh, don¹t worry.² He sighed, realising she  
was going to be unbelievably painful tonight. ³I just dropped in to say  
hi, chew the fat . . .²

³I don¹t really have time for this, Q.²

³Humour me.² He drawled, dryly.

³Q, I really have a lot of work to do tonight. I don¹t really have the  
time-² She stopped as he held up his hand.

³Oh, blah blah blah. I know the drill. Duty, obligation, work . . .² He  
sighed. ³You can be intolerably boring sometimes, Kathy.² Q clicked his  
fingers, and a giant clock appeared before them. Leaving over, he  
stilled the hands. ³There, I¹ve made the time. Seeing as there is no  
time at the moment, you have all the time in the world.²

She started to say something, but he held up his hand again.

³And . . . let¹s go somewhere else.² He clicked his fingers, and they  
re-appeared outside the ship, almost hovering in space. Voyager was  
no-where in sight. ³Happy now?² He asked.

³Where¹s my ship?²

³Oh give it a rest, Kathy. It¹s fine, your precious crew are fine.²

³You¹re not going to give this up, are you?² She asked, weighing up her  
options.

³Just a few questions, dear Captain, and then you can get back to your  
precious supply reports.²

³Do I have your word?² Kathryn asked, cautiously.

³Of course.² He smiled. ³Seat?² He clicked his fingers and the space  
lurched around her, forming a seat. She sat down cautiously.

³So, how are things going?² He asked.

³Ugh! Q! Is this what you brought me here for? Inane questions?²

³Well, would you like to find your own way back to Voyager?²

³I¹m fine, Q. The ship is fine.² She replied tightly, wising  
acknowledging his control of the situation.

³Really? I hope that last encounter with Species 8472 didn¹t throw you  
out . . .²

³We managed.² She said, dryly.

³Yes, you do a lot of that, don¹t you? Managing . . . adapting . . .  
such harsh words for such a short life.²

³Well what do you suggest?² Kathryn asked, more than a little annoyed.

³When was the last time you kicked back with a nice red wine and some  
Bolian music?²

³That¹s not really a luxury I have on Voyager.² She said, shaking her  
head.

³Ah . . .² He turned to face her. ³But it could be.²

³Q, what are you getting at?²

³Don¹t you want more than you have, Kathy?²

³I want to get us home, Q. You know that.²

³And until then?²

³Until then . . .² She shrugged. ³I work to do that. I have everything  
that I want. My crew are happy, enjoying their lives. We¹ve become a  
community, Q. I couldn¹t ask for anything more, except to be home.²

 

³What about Chakotay?² Q asked quietly, and the words were like a slap  
in the face.

³That¹s not fair, Q. You¹re not playing by the rules.² She stood up and  
moved, not quite used to the fact that she was walking amongst the  
stars. It was almost enough to detract from his question, to ignore the  
lingering thought that had come to her on more than one occasion of  
late.

³It¹s my game, Kathy. I don¹t have to play by the rules.² He smiled  
sweetly.

³And I don¹t have to justify any of this to you.² She said, suddenly  
tired of the whole routine.

³Ah, but you do.² Q said, walking over to where she was standing, voice  
suddenly dangerous. ³You justify *everything* to me. You are mine,  
Kathryn Janeway. You exist because *I* let you. You breathe because I  
will it to be so.²

³I don¹t believe in a god, Q.²

³Oh, I¹m not a god, Kathy. I¹m a Q.²

³Of course, how foolish of me. . .²

³I didn¹t create you. We both *are*. Like you and your beloved puppies  
\-- you didn¹t create them, but they are *yours*. They live at your  
discretion.²

³I¹m not your puppy dog, Q.²

He rolled his eyes, and groaned. ³You are being painful tonight,  
Captain.²

³I¹m not the one who likened humanity to a domestic pet.²

³I was human once, you know.² He smiled at the look of surprise on her  
face. He sat down, and the space seemed to form some sort of a throne  
underneath him. ³Oh yes, quite. Horrible experience, quite horrible. But  
it gave me an insight into the way you live. It gave me an interest in  
your . . . humanity, cursed thing that it is.²

³Is this where you play the angst-ridden omnipotent being, and wax  
lyrical about the beauty of mortality?² She couldn¹t keep the sarcasm  
out of her voice.

³The beauty of morality?² He mocked her words. ³There is no beauty in  
morality. No beauty in death and decay.² He stood up, and she was  
captivated by the way space seemed to fold about him as he walked. ³But  
there¹s no beauty in this either . . . this knowledge, this eternal life  
. . .²

³Ah, so you are going to wax lyrical. . .²

³Mortal, when a Q talks to you, you listen.² He said sharply.

³Then talk Q, because I don¹t have time to be your counselor.²

She stopped as soon as the words had left her mouth. She wasn¹t afraid,  
exactly . . . curiously detached of his reaction, maybe. But he came at  
her -- so fast that she hardly realised it. She would have described the  
look on his face as primal -- except that she had never seen anything  
quite like it. He stood, literally millimeters away, the stars and the  
universe melding around him, and held her gaze.

 

And then she was falling.

 

Intellectually, she realised that it was his doing -- that the very  
nature of space meant she would simply float, her body having no  
significant effect. In her long career in space she had, on occasion,  
seen beings spaced -- their bodies frozen in the vacuum, air sucked out  
of their lungs. But as she plummeted down, her mind was strangely racked  
with stories from old Earth mythology, about the angel who fell from the  
heavens to rule the hells.

She begun to notice other things, like the way that her lungs seemed to  
squash within her. The coldness licked at her body. She was afraid.

And then she was on her knees in her ready room, clawing for air,  
feeling like her throat had collapsed. She breathed in deeply, the  
oxygen almost seeming to burn her throat. She took too much in, and was  
reduced to coughing fits as she lay her head to the ground.

After a few moments, Kathryn became aware of two feet standing in front  
of her. Q bent down, and she forced herself not to shrink away. Her skin  
crawled as he whispered in her ear.

³There is nothing that you know, that I don¹t. There isn¹t a thought in  
your head that I haven¹t seen, a million times. I know it all, Kathryn  
Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. The end of Voyager, the end  
of the Delta Quadrant . . . the end of Janeway . . . the end of it all.²

³I thought . . . you were . . . immortal . . .² She said raggedly,  
gasping for air.

³Even the universe will die, Kathy. All things end, in a way. The centre  
cannot hold, isn¹t that what your poets say? The Q will . . . survive.²  
He waved his hand, sighing. ³It¹s irrelevant, anyway. It will not be in  
your life-time. Your race, your planet, your comprehension will have  
been long relegated to meaningless molecules drifting through space. It  
does not concern you. No, it¹s the present that concerns you. That  
brings me here.²

She looked up at him, still heaving breath. ³Why?²

And he leaned towards her, face millimeters apart. ³Because I envy your  
ignorance. Because you make mistakes, and they aren¹t the right ones.  
Because you are going to waste your life, Kathryn. And that pisses me  
off.²

The moment seemed to stretch out -- Kathryn was too afraid to move, and  
probably didn¹t have the energy, she was still trying to regulate her  
breathing.

 

³Why are you doing this?² She asked, after a moments silence.

³Because I *like* you, dammit. Although at the moment you are severely  
testing that affection.² He sighed, and extended a hand, helping her off  
the ground. ³And I¹m bored, Kathy. The universe gets so monotonous when  
you have eternity to explore it. I want to help you . . . You are too  
good to be leading the life you lead . . .²

³I¹m doing the best that I can!!² She said, for the first time quite  
angrily.

³No, you¹re not. You¹re going through the motions. You pick and choose  
\-- you don¹t abide by any of your precious principles . . . you don¹t  
even live for yourself.²

³What are you talking about, Q?²

³I¹m talking about Tuvix . . . I¹m talking about the swarm, I¹m talking  
about the Demon Planet . . . all those little compromises you have made  
along the way.² He stopped and looked straight at her. ³I¹m talking  
about Chakotay.²

³Those things . . . we did what was right, Q. We did what we could,  
under the circumstances.²

³It¹s a nice disclaimer, Kathy.²

She moved to him, suddenly angry. ³Don¹t you think I know these things?  
Don¹t you think I know these mistakes? I¹ve tried to do what I can, to  
live with some sort of virtue . . . even when *everything* was against  
me.²

 

³You¹re a parody of virtue, Kathryn.² The words came, quietly.

³Well you¹re hardly a choir boy, Q.² She said, frustrated.

³I don¹t pretend to be anything other than what I am, Captain.²

³Oh, and I do?²

³You are a parody of virtue.² He repeated.

³So you keep saying. But what do you mean?²

³You could be . . . so much more . . .² His voice almost sounded  
regretful, almost held sadness.

³Dammit Q, stop playing games. Say what you mean.²

³What I mean? You¹re a --

³-- parody of virtue, yes yes. You¹ve said.²

³No, you¹re a disappointment to us all.² The statement, as basic as it  
was, sent chills up her spine.

³The Q continuum?² She ventured, uneasily.

³To us all. To everyone before you, and to everyone after you. To the Q  
continuum, yes. But to who you could have been. To who you are, in  
another threads of this universe. To your future, and to your past.²

³That¹s quite an accusation.² She said, trying to deflect the words and  
almost succeeding.

"You have no idea.² He said, in all seriousness.

³I have done the best I could.² She repeated quietly, after a few  
moments.

³It¹s not enough, Kathy. It¹s not enough.² Q sighed, frustrated by the  
situation and her mortal inability to understand the significance of it  
all. ³Do you know you are going to die alone, Kathy? Do you know that?  
Would you like to see it? To see how they mourn you, but you die  
*alone*?²

 

Two years ago, perhaps even less, she could have pretended that his  
words had no effect. She could have believed that there *would* be  
someone, that . . . that Chakotay, at least, would be there.

Now she couldn¹t be so sure.

It was too much to think about. Too much for anyone to think about.

³Leave.² She said, drawing herself up to full height, and meeting his  
gaze. ³Leave.²

³Or what?² He smiled, almost amused.

³Leave.² She repeated, eyes almost slit shut, voice almost closed over.  
Q stared at her, considering carefully. Maybe he hadn¹t made a  
difference . . . maybe this Kathryn Janeway was *always* going to die  
alone. But he stared at her carefully, and he could almost see the  
tremble underneath her skin.

No, she could still change it.

³He will mourn you, when you¹re gone Kathy. Maybe you shouldn¹t forget  
that.²

And then, as always, with a flick of his fingers, he was gone.


End file.
